The Truth About Doris Day, America’s Quintessential Girl Next Door

Doris Day, one of the most popular actresses during Hollywood’s so-called “Golden Age,” stood out even among other stars of her time. She was known for her natural elegance and wholesome, vivacious personality. Her charm and femininity made her the embodiment of the perfect woman throughout the 1950s and 1960s.

How fitting that a pop idol with 21 Billboard Top 10 hits would be named for a song. 

In recent years Day got what would be the shock of her life. When celebrating what she thought was her 93 birthday she actually discovered it was in fact her 95 birthday.

Doris Mary Anne Kappelhoff was born on April 3, 1922, in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her father, Frederic Wilhelm Von Kappelhoff, was a music teacher, choirmaster, and church organist who had a deep appreciation for classical music. 

All four of Day’s grandparents immigrated from Germany to America in the late 1870’s. On Day’s mother’s side, both her grandfather, Wilhelm Welz, and her grandmother, Anna Christina Mann immigrated from Baden- southern Germany.

Day experienced many setbacks throughout her life, some of which happened when she was young. As a child, Day witnessed her parents struggle to cope with the loss of their first child, Richard, who died before Day was even born. Her father also had numerous affairs, which put a strain on her parents’ marriage.

However, this traumatic incident would turn out to be a blessing in disguise. As Day was recovering from the accident, she discovered her love for singing. During this time, Day would spend countless hours listening to the radio, sometimes singing along with the likes of Duke Ellington and Ella Fitzgerald.

Day’s acting career began during the “Golden Age” of Hollywood, which lasted from the 1910s up until the 1960s. At the time, she was seen as a more innocent alternative to the vampish Marilyn Monroe. In the media, Day was constantly painted as a woman many men would be delighted to marry.

During the 1950s and early 1960s, Day delighted audiences around the world with movie roles that allowed her to display her innate singing ability and sense of humor. Some of her more notable films include Calamity Jane (1953), The Pajama Game (1957), and Pillow Talk (1959), for which she received a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress.

Fortunately for Day, one of the show’s avid listeners was a bandleader named Barney Rapp. Rapp, impressed with what he had heard, reached out to Day– who at the time was still known as Doris Kappelhoff– and asked her to be in his band.

In March of 1941, when Day was in her late teens, she married Al Jorden – a trombonist whom she had met while performing with Barney Rapp and his band. Unfortunately, their marriage would turn out to be less than ideal.

Fortunately, Day’s unborn child was not harmed during the terrifying incident. In February of 1941, the couple’s son, Terrence “Terry” Paul Jorden, was born.

After divorcing her first husband, Day found the new love of her life in her son, Terry. Day was only 19 years old when she had her first and only son, so the two reportedly shared a very close bond and essentially grew up together.

Terry ended up following in his mother’s musical footsteps. With his mother’s encouragement, Terry recorded his first demo in 1961, which earned him a spot in the Columbia Records producer-trainee program. Although his two solo-albums were unsuccessful, Terry made a name for himself by producing music.

Day found great success as a singer. “Sentimental Journey,” a song that she recorded in 1945, became her first hit. However, it was Day’s rendition of the popular jazz song “Embraceable You” that helped propel her career to the next level.

Songwriters Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne were so captivated by Day’s voice that they suggested that she be considered for a role in Michael Curtiz’s 1948 musical romantic comedy Romance on the High Seas. Day was cast as Georgia Garrett despite having no previous acting experience.

Three years after Day’s divorce from Jorden, she married another musician. This time, she said “I do” to George William Weidler, a saxophone player who was the older brother of actress Virginia Weidler.

At this point, Day was well on her way to establishing herself as the “quintessential girl next door”. She perfected her sugar-sweet image by starring in sentimental musicals such as Tea for Two (1950), On Moonlight Bay (1951), and I’ll See You In My Dreams (1951).

Day appeared to have finally found “the one” in 1951 when she married movie producer Martin Melcher. Melcher, became Day’s manager, and adopted Day’s son Terry. He even gave Terry his last name, Melcher. 

The western-themed musical Calamity Jane was one of Day’s most successful projects. She cemented her position in Hollywood history with her whip-cracking performance as the titular character. The movie is loosely based on the life of Wild West heroine Martha Jane Cannary.

However, Day was eager to prove that she was more than just a musical-comedy actress. In 1955, she took on a more dramatic role as singer Ruth Etting in the 1955 musical drama Love Me or Leave Me, which became a critical and commercial success.

The immortal song was written for the director’s 1956 thriller The Man Who Knew Too Much, which cast Day opposite Jimmy Stewart. Day initially refused to sing the number, deeming it a “children’s song.”

In 1959, Day co-starred with Rock Hudson in the romantic comedy Pillow Talk. Day received her first – and, quite shockingly, her last – Academy Award nomination for her role as the successful interior decorator Jan Morrow in the movie.

The famous scene in which Rock Hudson carries Doris Day in her pajamas down the street was taxing on the leading man. Multiple takes carrying a person around would tire out anyone.

By the early 1960s, Day seemed unstoppable. Her performances in comedies and romantic comedies such as Please Don’t Eat the Daisies (1960), That Touch of Mink (1962), and Move Over, Darling (1963) solidified her position as the era’s top female star.

In the late 1960s, Day was offered several prominent roles that would have helped change how audiences perceived her, but she turned them all down. 

In 1967, Day turned down the chance to play Mrs. Roberson in the Oscar-winning movie The Graduate starring Dustin Hoffman.

As the baby boomer generation’s counter-culture movement gained popularity, people’s attitudes towards intimacy began to change. Consequently, audiences began to grow tired of Day’s innocent and nostalgic movies. Times were changing, and Day’s movies failed to adapt.

Unfortunately, and very unexpectedly, Martin Melcher passed away on April 20, 1968, at the age of 52. According to Day’s 1975 autobiography, Melcher’s physician informed her that he had suffered from an enlarged heart resulting in his sudden passing.

Unbeknownst to Day, Melcher had been squandering her hard-earned money behind her back during their marriage. In her memoir, Day wrote that it was her son Terry who told her what her late husband had been up to. However, the terrible news didn’t stop there.

Understandably, Day decided to try and recover some of the money that Melcher had frittered away. She did so by suing Jerome “Jerry” B. Rosenthal, a lawyer who had been her late husband’s business associate. Rosenthal had also been Day’s attorney during her second divorce proceedings.

Moreover, Day was dismayed to discover that Melcher had signed her name to a contract to star in a sitcom  named The Doris Day Show without her consent. Melcher had also received a large advance to cover production costs, but the money had already been spent before filming could even begin.

Day not only suffered financially and professionally as a result of Melcher’s actions – but she also suffered mentally and emotionally. As it turned out, her third spouse was a highly demanding person who would drive her to keep working to the point of exhaustion.

After appearing in the 1968 romantic comedy With Six You Get Eggroll, Day decided to quit acting in movies. However, she did not completely abandon the entertainment industry altogether, as she would go on to star in her own sitcom, The Doris Day Show, on CBS. 

Actor and director Denver Pyle played the role of Buck Webb, on the The Doris Day Show. Pyle who portrayed Day’s father was only a couple years older than the star.

A year after Melcher’s death, Day found herself unwittingly involved in one of the most high-profile murder investigations of the decade. In 1968, cult leader Charles Manson, an aspiring musician, auditioned for Day’s son, Terry, at his house at 10050 Cielo Drive. Terry refused to sign Manson and later cut ties with him, a move that angered Manson.

In January of 1975 Day released a book. “Doris Day: Her Own Story” was an autobiography in collaboration with author A.E. Hotchner. For the first time, Day told the story behind all the headlines.

Day’s tumultuous love life continued after her marriage to Barry Comden in April of 1976. Comden, who worked as a head waiter at one of Day’s favorite restaurants, wooed the actress by giving her meat scraps and bones for her dogs as she walked out the door.

As one might expect Day’s time in the spotlight  led most to believe she was Hollywood’s quintessential “girl next door”. However, while the star’s life may have appeared to be picture-perfect on screen, things were different in reality.

The actress ultimately returned to the limelight in 1985 to host her own talk show Doris Day’s Best Friends, which aired on the Christian Broadcasting Network. However, the show was canceled after just 26 episodes. Nevertheless, Day wasn’t entirely forgotten in subsequent years.

Day continued to maintain her prominence in the aughts. In 2008, she was honored with a Lifetime Achievement Grammy for her contributions to music, followed by a third Grammy Hall of Fame Award four years later.

In 2011, at 89 years old, Day scored an unexpected top ten hit in the United Kingdom. The release of a collection of previously unreleased tunes, titled My Heart, saw the star become the oldest-ever artist to accomplish such a feat.

Day planted her roots in Carmel, California. She wanted to be far away from the industry that made her a household name and live the rest of her time doing what she loved.

Beyond the entertainment industry, Day was an animal welfare activist. She founded Actors and Others for Animals in 1971, and the Doris Day Animal Foundation seven years later. In 2011, she co-founded the Doris Day Horse Rescue and Adoption Center in Murchison, Texas.

She was assisted by her son, Terry, who worked as an executive of the Doris Day Animal Foundation. Day and Terry also co-owned a small hotel, the Cypress Inn, in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California.

In an unexpected turn of events, the Hollywood legend, who preferred to live a more reclusive lifestyle in her later years, agreed to be interviewed by The Hollywood Reporter in April of 2019, not long after her 97th birthday. 

Terry’s death wasn’t the only significant death that Day had to endure in her later years. 19 years earlier, her former on-screen partner and longtime friend Rock Hudson became the first major celebrity to die from AIDS. Hudson died in his sleep at his home in Beverly Hills, California in October of 1985, just a few weeks before his 60th birthday.

Day had undoubtedly experienced many tragedies and heartbreaking losses throughout her life. However, despite her absence from the entertainment world for many years, the actress was far from being the emotionally traumatized recluse that she was often painted as.

In her autobiography, Day dishes that she briefly dated Ronald Regan before he became the president. The two starred together in the 1952 movie “The Winning Team.”

Despite playing a flight attendant in Julie, Day dreaded airplanes. The phobia even caused her to turn down some award ceremonies.

Clint Eastwood offered Day a role in a film he was planning to direct in 2015. Day was reportedly in talks with Eastwood, her neighbor in Carmel, about a possible role in the film.

Day is mentioned in songs by Wham!, Billy Joel, the Beatles and Elton John. Day’s influence in pop music runs well beyond her own impressive discography. The Beatles sang of “the BBC, B.B. King and Doris Day” in “Dig It.” George Michael proclaimed, “You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day,” in the Wham! smash “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.”

Many of Day’s closest friends have said that they found the “recluse” label ridiculous, given how frequently the actress was seen out on the town. The actress herself has stated on numerous occasions that the media’s portrayal of her has been inaccurate and unfair.

As Day’s story shows, finding out the truth about your favorite celebrities was considerably more difficult back in the day. Perhaps this is mainly because social media didn’t exist!  Nevertheless, this did not prevent rumors from circulating even back then.

Surrounded by close friends and relatives Doris Mary Anne Kappelhoff (Dorris Day) passed away on May 13, 2019, at the age of 97 due to complications from pneumonia. Day’s. The announcement of her passing was made by her charity, the Doris Day Animal Foundation. 

The charity’s representatives added that Day was in excellent physical health for her age – but upon contracting pneumonia she was unable to fight off the illness.

Paul McCartney and Day had a very special friendship and McCartney took to social media following her death to pay tribute to the star.

Actor William Shatner took to Twitter to pay tribute to Day, calling her the “World’s Sweetheart” who was “beloved by all.” Actress Goldie Hawn followed suit, saying that Day brightened everyone’s lives and praised her for living her life out with dignity.